"Every sponsor is a leader. The stakes are about as big as they could be. A human life and usually the happiness of a whole family hangs in the balance. What the sponsor does and says, how well he/she estimates the actions of his prospects, how well he/she times and makes his presentation, how well he handles criticisms, and how well he/she leads his prospect on by personal spiritual example -- these qualities of leadership can make all the difference, often the difference between life and death." from "Leadership in A.A.: Ever a Vital Need:"
How Sponsorship Works
New 12 step members are encouraged to ‘find a sponsor’ as soon as possible after entering a 12 step fellowship. With many new members the first thought that pops into mind is why?
New members often enter the recovery program with their mind full of why questions: why me?, why did it happen?, why couldn’t I control my gambling?, why couldn’t I stop on my own?, and many others.
A sponsor’s initial responsibility is to help the new member to understand the particular recovery program and how it will work. This may involve explaining the practices and procedures that will be encountered when attending meetings, and dispelling the misunderstandings and fears that many newcomers have. It is easier to get an explanation, from one individual in private, why something is done a certain way, than it is to ask a room full of strangers.
A sponsor becomes a tangible link for the newcomer to the program. Sometimes newcomers encounter problems that cannot wait until a regular meeting for resolution, but need immediate attention. A sponsor is available to allow the member to share the problem and to provide guidance in its resolution. The sponsor’s role is to assist in the newcomer’s recovery, not to do it for them.
Many addicts have shut out everyone and everything while using. To recover from their addiction members need to let others in.
Do it for yourself; not by yourself – choose a sponsor!
Sponsors: Have one! Use one! Be one!
Attending meetings regularly, and sharing is one of the ways that new members can begin the recovery process. Many new members have experienced difficulty sharing at meetings, and encounter even greater difficulty when the issues are of a deep and personal nature. It is these times when the new member requires someone in whom they can confide. This is the role of the sponsor.
A sponsor is a member of who has been in the program “long enough to acquire a mature understanding of the recovery program”. A sponsor should be someone in whom you have trust, as you will be confiding to them matters which you may not wish to disclose in a meeting.”
A sponsor should be chosen as soon as possible after entering the recovery program. The sponsor should be someone whom the new member can relate to; someone who may have had some of the experiences the new member had while gambling, or any other aspect upon which a bond may be established, and not simply because they are a ‘nice person’.
A sponsor will make every effort to be available to the new member to offer alternative thoughts and options on the issues that are troubling a new member.
FRIENDSHIP – SPONSORSHIP
poem by Vanessa v c.2000
Teach me, my friend, of the truths you know
There is no time for idle talk,
There is no time for pleasantry.
We know too much.
Look into my eyes
And see, there is no false.
Look into my heart
And see the love.
As you know too,
Life has left its’ mark,
of ecstasy and pain,
on you and me and many more.
The darkness left behind,
The sun embracing us,
a bright light shining,
inviting us to dance.
Let there be no limit,
In sharing our thoughts,
Because the times for idle talk
are left behind….
…In the darkness we once knew.
The Dean of Addictionz
Working the Solution with Multiple and Addicts of all types
- 36 Years Personal Recovery Experience in several Self Help Programs
- Addiction Recovery Outreach Trustee, NW Region Webmaster, Newsletter Editor and contributor for various Recovery Associations Publications
- Published in several major recovery publications: AA Grapevine, Al-Anon Forum, Overeaters Anonymous “Voices of Recovery” and “Lifeline”, Gamblers Anonymous “Bulletin” &”Toastmaster” Magazine
- This AddictionZ.com website is featured in Melody Beattie’s current “Codependent no More Workbook”
- Over 45 years successful contracting business experience working with over 2000 employees and Penitentiary halfway house temporary staff.
- Sponsoring many recovering multiple addicts with long-term good results
- Recovery weekend workshop leader in Western Canada & US Pacific NW
- Author “You Can’t Unscrew Somebody Workbook” for relationship makeovers
- Author “Sex Inventory Workbook” for sex issues
- Author “Drunk Driving Workbook” for safety
- Author “Breaking The Cycle of Gambling Addiction” arrest the money drain!
- Author “Breaking the Cycle of Compulsive Overeating” get healthy!
Here is a thought!
Why don’t you book your sober recovery style vacation with us in beautiful downtown Victoria BC Canada at our Gingerbread Cottage Bed and Breakfast. Over the years we have had lots of therapists, recovering addicts and health professionals stay at our idyllic B&B steps from the Salish Sea. Oh and we have gourmet breakfasts too! Vanessa makes a fantastic Austrian Apple Strudel! see more on our B&B website…
Please leave your comments below, and I will be sure to answer them. If you want one of the publications but truly cannot afford it leave a comment with your email address and I’ll send you a free one…
This website is about recovery – not making money – but it wouldn’t hurt to pay a few web hosting charges if you decided to visit one of the sponsors ads… I have kept outside ads to a minimum so it’s not so frustrating to read. Hate those pages with an ad between every paragraph.
Have a great One Day at a Time! Dean 🙂