All posts by Add1ct1onZ

Experience with addiction recovery for 37 years assisting folks with many types of addictions including drugs and alcohol, adrenalin addictions like sex, crime and gambling.

Codependency – Good Things about Codependency

 Good Things About Codependency

Growing up with Alcoholism and Drug addiction in my family origin was probably a real skill builder if I look at it in the proper light now…

  • I learned how to survive in a crisis
  • I learned how to exist with no support
  • I learned how to stuff feelings quite effectively
  • I learned how to take the blame for pretty much anything
  • I learned not to trust authority
  • I learned not to listen to complainers
  • I learned to look after other peoples stuff

How to Achieve Codependency Recovery?

Today I can have all Brand New Fresh Feelings! I don’t have to drag all those worn out and hurt yesterdays feelings along into today!

Ful Benefits are realized by:

  • Taking the focus off others and strating to deal  with my own primary and secondary addictions.
  • Start to be of service to others.
  • Put myself in a position to be around positive people, not people who are only interested in finding ways to stall the process of recovery.
  • Set up a reasonable time frame to work my recovery program, namely one day at a time.
The loss of one electron turns an atom from negative to positive.

If you try and straighten out a Carneval or Mardi Gras Parade you would be foolish! Mainly because if by some chance you were successful, you would not have an awesome Carneval Parade any more, and a straight parade likely is no fun…

Ego in Reverse

I have sponsored many folks in 12 step programs and found in every case that over thinking of self negatively is “Ego in Reverse gear”… If you have a problem with negative self worth, try the A-Anon fourth step guide called “Blueprint for Progress”.

Also when I assist with Fourth steps i encourage my sponsees to write poems or songs about their issues, which turns them into art instead of garbage…


After being in a codependency recovery program for over 30 years, it should be easy to identify a group of codependency symptoms. But it’s not! And I really dislike lists of symptoms that are cut and dried.

Work “With” the Weaknesses

    • For instance if you have low self-esteem, find something that works good with low self esteem – possibly take some classes in etiquette and you will quite likely find out that you are way better at being polite than the super macho people that you have been envying…
    • Another common symptom is not liking or accepting yourself, feelings of inadequacy, and worried about what others think. This is actually probably true and somehow nobody taught you how to respect yourself or how to identify or obtain skills that are respectable.
    • I have struggled with this for a long time and have had to re-educate myself many times. Even the great Statesman and Engineer “Buckminster Fuller took a couple years off from reinventing the world to unlearn the crap he had learned up to that point“… ergo the Geodesic Dome!
People Pleasing is another worn out phrase that can be turned into a positive simply by getting in the right profession.. People pleasers make wonderful service personnel or small service business owners! And if being concerned with what other people think about you is a negative then the world has somehow reversed its polarity... Of course you should be concerned with what others think about you!

Perfectionism can be a good thing too,   get a job in Quality control or Management.

Talking From Experience

I am a general contractor for 45 Years and have had much experience in hiring people from halfway houses and casual labor pools.

  • On one occasion I hired a chap who was really convinced he was no good at anything, but he seemed to have a natural talent for sanding drywall very accurately.  When the work ran out I suggested he try other drywall companies and tell them he would sand drywall.
  • A couple years later i saw the chap again and he was grinning from ear to ear. He had gotten the drywall job and worked at it for a few months then he got a job at his reserve teaching drywalling to others…



The Dean of Addictionz

Working the Solution with Multiple and Addicts of all types

  • 36 Years Personal Recovery Experience in several Self Help Programs
  • Addiction Recovery Outreach Trustee, NW Region Webmaster, Newsletter Editor and contributer for various Recovery Associations Publications
  • Published in several major recovery publications:  AA Grapevine, Al-Anon Forum, Overeaters Anonymous “Voices of Recovery” and “Lifeline”, Gamblers Anonymous “Bulletin” &”Toastmaster” Magazine 
  • This website is featured in Melody Beattie’s current “Codependent no More Workbook”
  • Over 45 years successful contracting business experience working with over 2000 employees and Penitentery halfway house temporary staff.
  • Sponsoring many recovering multiple addicts with long term good results
  • Recovery weekend workshop leader in Western Canada & US Pacific NW
  • Author “You Can’t Unscrew Somebody Workbook” for relationship makeovers
  • Author “Sex Inventory Workbook” for sex issues
  • Author “Drunk Driving Workbook”  for safety
  • Author “Breaking The Cycle of Gambling Addiction” arrest the money drain!
  • Author “Breaking the Cycle of Compulsive Overeating” get healthy!

Here is a thought!
Why don’t you book your sober recovery style vacation with us in beautiful downtown Victoria BC Canada at our Gingerbread Cottage Bed and Breakfast. Over the years we have had lots of therapists, recovering addicts and health professionals stay at our idyllic B&B steps from the Salish Sea. Oh and we have gourmet breakfasts too! Vanessa makes a fantastic Austrian Apple Strudel! see more on our B&B website…

Please leave your comments below, and I will be sure to answer them. If you want one of the publications but truly cannot afford it leave a comment with your email address and I’ll send you a free one…

This website is about recovery – not making money – but it wouldn’t hurt to pay a few web hosting charges if you  decided to visit one of the sponsors ads… I have kept outside ads to a minumum so its not so frustrating to read. Hate those pages with an ad between every paragraph.

Have a great One Day at a Time! Dean 🙂